(Idontblameanyone!!) Jumbled.

this couldn't be that tough could it? im trying to sort things out and fit the puzzle to its' place. im trying. i hate it when i wake up feeling all so... was it that i got up from the wrong side of the bed? ..no, there's only one side that i could get up from, coz the other's a wall. oh right, that's just an expression. sillyme. i wonder why i always feel like ....when im out. gosh, it suck. ive got to hold it together. im afraid when i could no longer do that, coz i know that would be really damn mortifying.

oh yea, you said i had a... look, but in fact i insisted that i was really tired, and i am. and you go on trying to cool me down? do you think i ever give a damn? think again.....no. come on, im a girl! :) oh perhaps you, yea. i recognize your voice even when i was here for only a week. i despise the way you look, on first encounter. but later on, thought that you aren't too bad actually. and then it became an obssession? oh no obssession is too big a word, it was more of like a fondness. i actually like you. i actually do! oh no, wait, i dont. i know what's this. its just the irky thing called infatuation which will fade sooner or later, which i reckon, the sooner the better. BUT, i want to know you. :)

you said, oh im just goin through a weird phase. oh come on, do you think its only you? maybe thats because, im good at concealing. do you think by asking are you ok and hearing oh im fine, means what it means? and stop asking how's it goin or how're you doin? i hate it searching for an answer or rather, forcing myself to say the stereotype, im fine, not too bad, bunkum. im not too sure whether i look forward to the day we sit and have a long get-to-know chat, but sure do want to know how it goes. hope i dont make a fool out of myself. but then again, im wondering, will it all happen, or is it just a mere rhetoric?

and oh to another you, you truly, absolutely, certainly disgust me.

im wasting my time. damn.